I know this is all cliche and whatever, but I certainly miss a domesticated but my parents don’t want me to. I have suicidal and intrusive thoughts and self harm a lot, I don’t want to die but I don’t feel alive either lives here in a life I’m not fortunate in. I was invariably sexually mistreated from 5 till 17, different chaps, different years, same bullshit. I’m 17 and in my third year through the University and I’m actually not the brightest, but my mothers promised that if I get a good GPA I can get my rulers degree in each of the countries of my pick, I actually didn’t charge movement I never wanted to get my rulers degree any highway. But I genuinely demand a pet, some reason to get out of berthed in the morning , not drown myself in Minecraft and obtrusive reflects, something that’s going to be really happy in my fellowship, something I can adore and vice versa and the thought of having one can continue me happy for a longer while than human spirit can’t. My University doesn’t give domesticateds, I don’t have any money to get one, I don’t use yet justification my depressed ass won’t let me, my parents aren’t big-hearted follower of domesticateds either so if I am getting one it’s emphatically not in their home. Then I recognise if I picked a country far from home, I’d do my own accommodation and unquestionably get a Golden Retriever, and ever since I got that believe I’ve been happy as hell, I’ve been doing research to improve my GPA when I eventually head back to clas. In the next two years I’d come my own pet, in my own accommodation in a country far away from people I know it gets me elicited as hell.
Sometimes I feel like it’d never happen but then again, I actually just demand anything that’d prevent me from “accidentally” getting a concussion or slitting my wrists and only the was just thinking about me coming my very own Golden Retriever only meets me all hokey as inferno inside and that’s a feeling I’m not used to.
Maybe it’s all in my intelligence, perhaps I’d never get to leave the country, maybe I’d never get my own place. I’m a huge pessimist but this just forms me want to keep my hopes up , no matter how long it makes, I’m going to work hard enough, get a job, to be concentrated in my courses. I’m going to be my Golden Retriever and name her Poppy( the queen in the animation Trolls, start I adoration her interest about everything)
I’ve been in this sub for a while and so far this is my first Positive post. I’m genuinely fortunate, for reals this time.
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