Not from being closed.
The common train of thought seems to be that, in order to be fulfilled, one must be strong. Things like wrath, suffering, resentment, chagrin, and disorder are all thrown out. Those are things to be pushed aside and overcome, rather than lived and suffered. And even the positive things, very. Love is seen as neediness, and hilarity seems a bit manic. If one is to be fulfilled, it seems, one must be totally equanimous.
But this is a great misunderstanding. Equanimity will eventually come, yes. But it doesn’t come from being closed and subjugate our honest knowledge. It’s precisely the opposite, in fact. It comes from living all of our ups and downs, our high-flowns and lows, as passionately and authentically as possible.
It is not strength to be sad and say “I am not going to be sad today”. That is not strength. That is weakness. It is running away from the problem. It is escapism. It is much more strong to say, “Today, I am pathetic, and that is just how I am. I will stare it straight-shooting in the face, and accept it.” This is strength.
By being honest about these things, we may not feel wonderful all the time, but we will feel fulfilled. That emptiness will cease to be present. There will be peace. A deep down joy, even, despite all the high-priceds and lows. Above all, there will be love.
It’s about love. Love utters area for every single part of ourselves. Even the terrible parts.
And don’t get me wrong, because some people will use this as justification for self-righteous anger, self-pity, etc. It’s ok, and needed, to get angry, yes. But your anger is your responsibility to experience and process … it’s never an outside issue. And it’s OK to be sad, but “woe is me” is your ego. It’s not true sadness. In true sadness, when the snaps certainly start to flow … there is no me.
Best wishes to all.
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