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I feel like I’m falling back into depression whilst I’ve been on my spiritual journey

I’ve suffered with recession in the past and come out the other side, the last time I did I started to delve into spirituality and violating the matrix misconception I’d been in all my life, and I was feeling really good about life even when I wasnt I didn’t feel this low. But now I only feel utterly futile, I don’t enjoy anything I’m not working due to the pandemic and although I know I could still investigate their own families to some extent it’s not the same, I could see my mum in my corroborate bubble but then there still the day after I visualize her and it exactly feels so bleak again. I felt like I could power through when I had to go to work cause then I had 8 hours keep forgetting about it but now I don’t even have that.

I see so much stuff about mediating and being positive and abiding this and trying to change that but it feels so exhausting. Theres now this belief on me to constanly be flourishing and learning and I simply dont feel like I can. It approximately may seem like I’ve forgotten everything I’ve been learning these past 2 years.

I exactly dont feel like I can even recollect how it felt to be happy like I was a few months ago, like I remember the recognitions and I remember feeling so positive about life but I cant recollect the feeling.

I’m only 21 and I know I have so much time to do nonsense but there simply may seem like theres so much pressure to constantly try be better and I merely dont definitely sounds like I can at the moment. Is that bad? I feel like I’m being piteous like I dont know why I’m feeling so low-toned and stupefy but I simply am and I dont have the vigor or hope to pull myself out of it like everyone expects me to. Maybe all this is a big ego trip to keep me small but even if that is the case I just dont definitely sounds like I can drag myself out of it like I’ve been able to before

I exactly dont feel like I should be able to fall back into this if I’ve been rehearsing spirituality movement everything I’ve read only may seem like it affirms everything I’m feeling at the moment hitherto here I am

submitted by / u/ al5252 [ connection ] [ mentions ]

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