5-6 years ago i could manifest whatever I require. I was 10 , now im 16. I used to evident shit all the time, like that my parents would go to burger king or that we would go to my grandparents room. some time in november 2014 i couldn’t anymore. I stopped am concerned about it for a while, and then at 13 shit vanished sour. I moved, and I was stuck in this void. I has no such friends. but here is some more context. I have high functioning aspergers. I had to go to special ed for half of kindergarden, all of first, and half of second tier. I was outgoing, but I was bullied all through 6th grade but it disappeared past my brain till the end of its first year. in 7th evaluate and onward I procreated sure i would act in a way that would hold me out of trouble and blend in, meeting me the hushed boy. still had no friends. in 8th i caught people calling me a school shooter behind my back. 2 years later good-for-nothing altered, I exclusively have online friends, and I havent been dating with the exception of in early newcomers time, a clingy major with abandonment topics, where We had nothing in common. I was happy at the time until i realised she was so weak, she ought to have been dated anyone. Besides this, I cant talk to anyone. Its not even social feeling. I “ve been trying”, but people really look at me wierd or act like they dont hear me so i just dont. I feel like ultimate fucking dogshit. I am unmotivated to do anything. not grades , not get a hassle , good-for-nothing. I feel like absolute fucking subhuman fucking shit tbh. I ever am entertaining suicide, and would be pleased to time fucking die. perhaps i would reincarnate as an NT who beings actually give maybe a singular shit about. But all that said, I used to evident all the time and the time i need it most i can’t. all i can do is fucking vent online to friends until their ears bleed. I tried so much to fix my questions in the physical alr, but I need to evident now more than ever, that maybe i could have some “fuckin friend” and a valid reason to live if im lucky.
TL ;D R I haven’t been able to evident for 6 years. is there a rationale, and is there a nature to fix it?
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