This is something I have always fought and still do to this day. I have always believed that asking for help with anything, tiny( opinion, how to do something) to big( mental health) is a demonstration of weakness and it is something that I have now begun to unlearn and make peace with, to begin to do.
Asking for help I “ve learned” is such a crucial part of Happiness and Peace. It is ok to ask for help and the amazing thing is, is that people want to help, I time “ve got to be” the one to ask for it. It takes time and I am learning how to ask for help slowly, even if I still get anxious, restless, begin to dwell, permit myself to speak negatively about myself, it will be broken, day by day, minute by moment.
The life I have lived of 23 times has been everything but “ordinary”, but who’s life is “ordinary”. I sometimes speculate, oh I bid I didn’t have to face the things I face on every single day, my Transness, My Self Induced Numbing, Myself, where I think about a life where everything is “coasting”, which stirs me recognise, that, that life, isn’t for me. I am grateful for the ups, I am grateful for the downs, for the anguish, sadness, rigors, tears, swelling, serenity, prosperity and more importantly for my life.
It has made period, but everything does. This life we have all been given is a blessing. Every moment to breathe, every moment of duration for ourselves. The smell of fresh air that introduces relief onto my body, the sunshine, making photos of moments that are being lived which we don’t realise is such a drastic modify for “peoples lives”, the talks with friends that are so intense but at the same time so, easy. I am so lucky to have this life that I live, it is truly a privilege.
Everyday I tradition Gratitude. Everyday I practice Presence. Everyday I practise Stillness. Everyday I think that I am not doing enough, fairly for my mental health issues, enough for my craftsmanship, enough for the ones around me. I am Enough. I am doing my best and I have realise in the past short time, that, that is all I can do. I Breathe In, Hold, Release, Out. Relief. God, I Thank You. I Thank You for you. The one reading this now, or in the future. You are enjoyed. You are respected. You are patronage. You are valid. You are enough.
I love you.
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