Some eras I feel enormous, instructed full of adoration and trust. Today I am the opposite. I know power cycles/seconds but I precisely feel so off. I think it started two days ago with a colorful dream of my mother dying, it certainly shook me.
Since then I’ve been jaunty and I’m kind of preoccupied with death. I keep thinking about myself, my mothers going older, sick, dying and it’s certainly chilling. It’s almost like I’m just being informed of my mortality. I actually woke up in an okay climate today and decided to sage my bedroom – really felt it was needed. So I did that, and as soon as I did I got into a terrible mood and still am hours later, I’m angry, riled and cynical. Went for a long walk and felt ok but I’ve spiraled into this mood again. I’m trying to avoid my family because I don’t want to snap at them.
I’m like a different person, does anyone else experience this? Am I doing something to bring this on?
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