Yeah, spirituality. Never in “peoples lives” did that parole ever have have any meaning to me. That was until the the happenings that’d occurred in my life after a near-death experience. In simplifying it, it wasn’t the experience itself that varied me, it was the questions that rose out of it that started to change my life. I’m not going to go into detail about the otherworldly things that’d arose to me, very, I’m going to delve into what( otherworldly things) happened in my actuality that sidestepped me to question even more. Now I’m left with merely a few questions, “how do I connect this gap and concisely articulate its own experience into commands? ” Not an easy feat as they do say enjoy is the most difficult thing to put into words. True, but I’m going to give it a try. From my demise, to being free of all tendernes and suffer for only a moment, to realizing I was a key. One of many in these times. Doesn’t make one better than the other. It does planned there’s a acces to fix what’s wrong. But this isn’t about societal semantics, it’s about quantum physics, the universe, and our lives. After all, there’d be nothing to see if we weren’t here and there’d be nothing to create if we weren’t on this earth.
I woke up one morning free of all aching. No more bad recollections , no more feeling lost. I was lastly free to knowledge and learn things I never did previously. Still, I had a bridge to gap between what I did and didn’t know, mainly about human interaction( another story ). That freedom of belief realise me realise something about the nature of Autism and Aspergers, of which I was diagnosed with at 7. Subject for a later appointment once I have the ability to discuss it. I didn’t get a degree in psychology, so what the hell is I know? I no longer felt the concerns of being prone. I fell in love with “peoples lives”; ache had lost its seriousnes on me. No longer holding me back, I was free to finally move forwards. This is of course going to be over streamlined as I don’t want to drone on for hours as this all is indeed a notebook I am writing, that’s no easy accomplishment. A problem in this world right now is that beings predicate their lives on quick easy explanations. Trust me when I say it, the answers are never quick nor are they simple. So I’ll impel what seems to be complex as simply as I can keep it. I digress.
So, I met a girl that awfully period then strange things started happening. I just wanted to show her a friendly face as I was so happy in that moment being myself. The time I walked away from her I was almost like a rob had been set in my chest. Arousing my curiosity of her even more. She waltzed over and would like to know whether I wanted to play pool, so we did. Standing there, find her while she celebrated me. I noticed a few strange things. She had reactions to certain things that prompted me of myself. When I was in awe of this human feeling I was having, I looked into her seeings. That unusually moment felt like a bolt of lightning through my soul. My next thought was that my future was fastened from there on out, I must say, everything about me has changed since. The fasten had been given. Then things became overly accidental. 2 years ago, while in the midst of a dark depression, I was infatuated with a girl but had underlaying doubts about myself. In the middle I was truly interested in meteorites. Thought to myself, how cool would it be to make an engagement ring out of a meteorite? After all I revered such structures of their cast-iron quartzs that make billions of years to cool and chassis into. While yielding this girl a ride dwelling I questioned out of curiosity what her last name was.
She said, “Eisen”.
“Wait, that’s German for Iron.”
“Yeah, how the inferno did you are familiar with? ”
I made my day with it all, never raced any of it. I never pressured her. All while trying to write out all that I’d experienced in 2020 prior to the opening of my aforementioned death. I go back to my motorcycle a week last-minute to see it in ruins since the accident. In my subconsciou I was on shadowed 9. All I could see was her eye’s like black holes. They’d sucked me right in as I no longer had any pain maintaining me back. Problem with this wonderful scenario was that I had to liberated everything in my life to find anything at all. I sat on the bike and was crying snaps of elation. Thinking that, “if I didn’t die that night, I wouldn’t have ever met her.” Of track I had only been back in my hometown for a few months after a 20 time hiatus. I was lastly find my neighbourhood socially. But I travelled from gentle conceited Tyler to a joyful ended Tyler. People found that strange so they adjudicated me for it, so be it. Never did anything to harm them but they sure illustrated me as such.
Weeks past and I was still lost in how terminated I felt and how lost I was in her sees. Inside of the singularity, I has no such concept of direction or knowledge. I started getting color dreams that occurred like world. Then, one by one, they have begun coming genuine. I caught onto the signs of the final most unpleasant one very early. The dream itself exorcized my emotional reaction to the scenario. It followed and I remained un-reactive. That pee-pee parties off a bit. I was no longer controlled by fear. Meeting her attain me question deep down about what marriage is and its situate in this world. Because I ultimately came back love myself, I knew that was a key piece. To which I wrote on the back of the diary I was writing in at the time, “Marriage is an acceptance of all inevitable pain.” Meaning never give up, never back up. Because I appreciate culture portray it as a secure all to all digesting. Too that beings objectify to the N’th degree of which I knew was a reason for many of her stings. It was like looking into her hearts become me understand all of her griefs. She hits herself up about it but she shouldn’t. We all overpower ourselves up when we shouldn’t.
Once I was cast out of my group and simply labeled lunatic, I was free to think and write. Of trend it takes time to heal that kind of betrayal. I don’t blame them, it’s what we were all born into. It got my mind turning. I generated it down to a finite stage. Message moved through the eye’s, experiencing the future, the co-occurrences. It’s like it was all designed for me and only me to see. Then tasked to situated it into utterances as best I can. What are we as humans, male and female. Antonym but equal. Binary. 1’s and 0’s. Looking into her hearts was like looking into my similarity cosmo because like I’d mentioned before, I find her traits which were frighteningly same to mine. I booze coffee like a barbarian, I asked to go out for a coffee, she said she was allergic to caffeine. Morning later I went out to get a cup, looked at it, tittered. Oh, I’m being tested?( Will power) So I quite drinking chocolate for a few months to measure myself. It was a crutch as I perfectly removed soda out of my life times prior.
So, quantum physics. All of our a matter of it are in the unseen. Maybe it’s that it has to be knowledge for one to really understand it. With all of the questions pertaining to QP and consciousness. To me it seems those answers are gazing right back at us and we don’t even notice. Are brains are computers. We don’t need AI as we already have natural intelligence. Sad part about Aspergers with which is why I’d concluded my self-love. Explaining Aspergers is like explaining how my judgment labors, it’s complex. Is it any coincidence within my life I was always drawn to the grace of the most complicated things? Falling in love is just like falling into a black holes singularity. You have no choice in the matter. It’s dreadfully beautiful. From first sight to losing all idea’s previously understood. Going through the
Wrote this down a few eras after gratify her.
At the core of every whiz lays a heart of Iron.
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