i am just 1 person out of billions and in the magnificent programme of things my cosmo is just a tiny dot in the universe. most eras that judgment is freeing and galvanizing. nonetheless, some eras i feel small in a “i’m replaceable” kind of way.
when i had instagram, i was frequently on the explore page. and i removed it because for some reason i got overwhelmed by becoming aware of 100 s of new stranger’s existence everyday. idk if this establishes feel. social media really opens up the world a lot( both good/ bad) and without it you’re pretty much put with being aware of merely a select group of people’s existence( basically people you see irl and personalities ).
well i kind of miss the working day where i was ignorant in that aspect. like some dates i’d feel like i’m really talented, beautiful, smart etc .. then i’d see a pole online of someone else who is even more ___. that then makes me to feel small but in a negative way.
this feeling has been exasperated ever since i broke up with my bf of two years. i don’t want to get into the specifics but.. i broke up w/ him when i found out that he was dming other women throughout our whole relationship. he likewise would tell me that he’d want to eventually “see other people” before he gets married. i was fully committed to him and was pretty much blindsided tbh. and some eras i’d feel like damn was i replaceable to him this whole time ??
i know not to articulate my worth in someone else’s mitts, but sometimes i can’t shake this feeling.
does anyone else deal with this? if so how do you cope?
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