I feel very lost. I digested a traumatic loss this time last year. It’s been so difficult. My mental health has suffered a lot. I’ve had good and bad daytimes, good and bad months..
This month has been particularly difficult. I read a healer that I adore. She has really changed my life but I still struggle with depression and tension alongside my dejection. I know my dimple is situational. I know it will take time to recover and heal. I also know this loss has essentially deepened me so who am I now? I feel it’s changed my perspective on living and it saddens me. It’s drew it more difficult to see the charm in life.
Spirituality has helped me find faith and agreement amongst all of this but I’m feeling so snap between my higher self and my human self. It’s like I’m at war with my narcissism. I question everything I do. Do I announce on social media for validation? Is that bad? Do I socially suck because of societal standards or do I actually enjoy it? Both perhaps? Am I really an expression of the results of what I devour? The things I visualize, dine, listen to..etc. Who am I when that’s all deprived apart? I have the strong desire to let it all continue. My interest in fashion, appeal, nightlife, social media..all of that. Solitude and discretion from societal conditioning seem absolutely delighted. But we are social beings so how does this work? Isn’t the desire for validation and agreement regular? It’s hard for me to imagine breaking away from these things. And why should I if I enjoy it?
I wonder if I’m judging myself too much. Is this maybe a result of my feeling ?? Is my self-judgement making my distres? Is it trying to push me in a different direction for a ground?
Sometimes, I care I could just live without so much better introspection.
I used to have so much confidence in my alternatives, life-style, and interests. I affection the life I was living. I wasn’t nearly as awake or in contact with my inner self but live seemed so much more simple..I lived apparently care-freely. Ignorance is bliss..
That’s not to say my introspection hasn’t reformed me for the best though because it surely has. I have learned amazing truths about myself and the universe. I’ve grown and learned to let go of insure. I’ve learned to be self compassionate. I’ve learned to forgive. I’ve learned to cherished better and more authentically. I’ve learned to adoration myself more. I adore journaling, studying, and making time to be alone. I enjoy the connectedness and oneness of the universe. And there’s much more I could list off!
I guess the combination of my pain, dimple, and being on my spiritual pilgrimage done a lot to process and is dealing with. That said, what are some access I could cope with my sadnes while I’m on this excursion?
Read more: reddit.com