I just arrived on the sub and I am looking for a brand-new formation of spirituality in my life. I come from a christian background, but I no longer agree with their beliefs. However, I still believe that there is somehow a higher conscience, something smart that started the universe, but I don’t know what it is and I certainly don’t know what it demands from me.
When I was christian, I prayed a lot and it seemed that God always answered my petitions, but when I began distancing myself from doctrine, things reformed and I stopped crying. I attributed my answered devotions to my own concentration or rich. I was feeling incredibly empowered at this time in my life and I are of the view that I could keep switch of it forever. Unfortunately it has not been the case. Some incidents happened and intensely disrupted the say that I had procreated in “peoples lives”. Slowly, I miscarried at things that I used to consider myself good at and it seemed that I was losing interests that moved the heart of who I was.
I no longer know exactly what I require in living and the pandemic doesn’t cure, because I had to reconsider a lot of future schemes that I had for myself. To add to the difficulty of developments in the situation, just before quarantine started for the first time, I assemble person( with whom I am still with) and fallen in love. I don’t regret it at all, but now I too have to take into considerations his hungers for life and his needs while searching for myself again. It’s hard-handed sometimes and even though they are I am getting better at causing go and accepting the unknown , not having a clear path like I used to scares me.
Today, I felt the need to pray again for the first time in years, but I actually wonder if ” God ” discovers me and will answer somehow … I wonder if I should even bother doing it.
What do you think? Do you believe in something higher?
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