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Fuck everything 2 be continued

I don’t like it in my judgment I’ve been suicidal for 7 years now doing everything anything to make it go away to better my mental space and after all the efforts guess what I just feel like I’m ranging from the inevitable of killing myself again, I can’t is attached to parties but I try to I can connect with myself and I know something I’m funked up in the thought despite me trying the aching of being treated as something to use follows me, a great deal of the time I can secrete the mental distress that I’m in but when I can’t and its obvious beings vistum me as less, I deem me as unpleasant I deride myself, I deepen everything I make I dislike impression wise good-for-nothing I change my personality and deplete my season more efficiently while being assistance to others and guess what I feel worse than ever my brain may seem like a wizard, I don’t even have the vigour for spiritual right now, nah I don’t even know, I don’t foresee I’ll be able to heal and its sad but what would the phase of having hope again are gonna be its done is knock me down over and over to the point where I barely feel anything but the deranged quintessence of my thought I want to end it, but this isn’t a cry for help not really, I want to end it all the time yet I don’t end myself as a negative or bad person not the normal parts of me and if any of you have the nerve to say I’m being greedy croak fuck urself big time, I’m tired of this what in the ever friendship shit. Tldr basically I’m trying to convince myself there’s a pitch value living despite having get more insane over the years living in constant misery while doing all the right things n things that I used to love, service aka really being here to make and help other people feel better well what the fuck its been going on for so long and the forceful exchange of that doesn’t even make sense

to be provided by / u/ Careless_Gur_3 741 [ tie ] [ explains ]

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