I guess I’m writing this because I just really want a situate to show and let my feeling out I approximate. I don’t even know if this is the right place to be writing this but I know these feelings are linked to my spiritual journey.
Ive always been into astrology but has now been I have also become more spiritual. Not exclusively do I feel more at peace but I also feel like its allowing me to connect more with my inner lusts. So numerous dreams and said that he hoped that I suppressed or cast away as a kid are all suddenly coming back and I have this penetrating desire to pursue my dreams. I save fixing excuses in my mind for why I cant prosecute my dreams. I feel I’m too old, or paucity endowment/ good looks etc. Sometimes I feel like I’m mad to even think of leaving a perfectly fine 9-5 hassle that offer me really well.
But I realized the one thing actually stopping me from haunting my dreams is the fear that I will miscarry. And it originated me think what even is los. People label you a’ outage’ when you haven’t fulfill their anticipations, why live to meet others anticipations? My mothers supposed I was a failure when I miscarried my maths assessments repeatably in secondary school but that didn’t stop me from graduating college at 20! I’ve always done what others have expected me to do all the time, like going to college, study hard-handed, get a good job etc. Despite doing all the’ title’ things, I’m not enthusiastic or fulfilled by the work I do daily. I just feel like some sort of machine.
I’ve realized to live the living standards I live their lives, I need to live life-time without the fear of failure. Not everything will work out and that’s okay. I always wanted to be an actress and lead, I know its not easy by any means. Its surely one of the most lucrative industries out there. But why should I underestimate myself and my cleverness. It might make years for me to be successful but I’m willing to work hard at it. And I know that hard work is always rewarded, maybe not at the time/ home/ direction I want it to be honored but I firmly believe all the love and vigour that an individual applies out knows where to find its path back. The last-place eclipse in gemini and the mercury retrograde have established me re-evaluate so many parts of my life and what I want to do in life. And my biggest take-away has been this: never be afraid of failure and most importantly don’t made it prevent you from pursuing your passion.
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